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I cried this week…

22/09/2014

Cindy sent a note early Wednesday, 17 September 2014 that Pastor Bob Wilson died that morning.  I sat on the bench on our front porch in Guatemala.  I thought of some of the conversations with this dear brother in the LORD.  I remembered some of his teachings, stories and sermons.  I remember Juanita his wife, Robin his daughter, there are other children but I did not know them – praying for them as I remember.  I wish all of you could have been in my church the day that both Bob and Juanita shared the testimony of their salvation.  It was a proper balance of who they once were and glorifying Jesus our Redeemer.  So many testimonies are 20 minutes of who I was and a two minute oh by the way Jesus died for me… not Bob and Juanita.  Jesus is the star of the show in the Wilson memoirs.

I complained once to Bob about being stressed about job, every other day on call, often 12 hours days, trying to build the ministry MedEquip Missions and balancing family in that formula.  Bob gave Godly advice for a life once again out of control.  Self control is a fruit of the spirit he explained, but the thing I remember most is his acronym for BUSY: Being Under Satan’s Yoke.  It helped trigger the move into missions full time for the McCutcheon family.

Cindy and I reject the term sacrifice as a descriptive of mission work.  Don’t get me wrong, it is difficult at times but for the most part there is a peace of knowing that this is what God has called us to.  Then to compare what we do with the true sacrifice Christ made for us is offensive frankly.  The only thing that comes close to smelling like sacrifice is missing family, not being here for the parting of friends – things that are deeply relational.  I have missed David Barger and William Mayhew’s funerals.  Those hurt a bit.  Men who had been put in my path to teach me things that God would have a son learn, were called home and I could not be here.  Not this time.  I came to western NC to be part of this home going.  Now mixed in that is a chance to see my wife, children, and grandchildren a blessing to be sure.

Romans ch 12 came to mind.  This chapter is a rich chapter in Paul’s writings.  After encouraging believers to be transformed the thirteenth apostle starts to teach what transformation looks like.  Here is what pops off the page.  Verse 15 says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”  End extremes it seems, in the same verse, the same sentence, so close together.   In my TODAY, we went to a wonderful church service.  I listened to a powerful message about clay in the Potter’s Hands.  Prayed with my wife at the front of our home church and then home to eat pot roast, potatoes, green beans with Jason and Hadley, Peggy, Cindy and my granddaughters.  Olivia (grandchild #1) is so mature, we talked for awhile.  Her little sister, however, not yet two years old, is still not comfortable with a grandad she cannot remember seeing.  So slowly I approach, retreat, approach again with a different tactic, ICE CREAM and she finally comes to my lap, empties my shirt pocket of pens and iPhone.  SCORE!  Sarah on granddad’s lap punching buttons and putting sticky ice cream finger prints on the screen.  I will clean my cell phone next month right now I rejoice… then two hours later I weep with a dear family that has lost husband, father, grandfather, uncle.  But it is not weeping like the world weeps.  There is the hope of resurrection in the conversation.  There are words of joy and peace in the midst of the grief.  Rejoice and weep are intentionally, buy an act of the Holy Spirit’s inspiration touching each other in Romans 12:15.  This is life in verse.

Sigh, some reading this feel guilty to rejoice in one moment and weep in another.  It is an issue of obedience.  I can rejoice in my granddaughter’s presence, and should do so.  In these relationships will come the opportunity to disciple young minds and hearts.  Sarah on my lap, Olivia engaged in conversation – are blessings from my God.  Encouraging my son and daughter in grace are part of the priesthood of fathering.  Equally obedient is leaving the house and going to Groce Chapel and meet the Wilson family and talk and share with family.  Cry when Cindy and I hug Juanita’s neck, see her beautiful smile in the midst of this sea of family and friends.  This is more than respect, my brother deserves respect.  But it is love.  Christ loving through us.  It is obedience.  One more thing jumps off the page today…

God is a God of action.  He commands His kids (believers) to act, but notice He keeps some things for Himself.  Rejoice/weep is ours to do in the midst of the fellowship of saints here and now on this earth.  No where are we to hold back or give it to God to do.  But notice in Romans 12:19 Paul says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. ”  In our work in Guatemala violence and sexual abuse of women and children seems rampant and justice is minimal.  One estimate I read, is that 10% of guilty parties are ever arrested and of those 10% are convicted.  Vigilante justice is an under current in rural settings.  You can imagine why.  I say that to highlight God keeps some of His work, vengeance in this case, to Himself.  There is a principal here.  God has work for us to do.  Be obedient in that work.  God has a work for God to do.  Be watchful.  Don’t give back to God the labor He asks of us.  Don’t take up that which He keeps to Himself.
Bob Wilson is a brother in the LORD.  Those of you who know him intimately will see irony in Bob talking to me about being busy… (for those of you that don’t know, Bob was often referred to as the Every Ready Bunny managing our feeding program, preaching on Wednesdays, working with a children’s program/summer camps, Christmas gift giving, on the board of our church and youth ministry above, constantly discipling, encouraging, of which Cindy and I are benefactors).  I know Bob and Juanita are faithful in praying for our work in Guatemala and I will miss him.  I WILL see him again.  I will be looking at the back of his head since he is now closer to the Throne of the Holy One of Israel.

In Christ,

Dennis and Cindy McCutcheon

 

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